Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
