so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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