Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
