I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
