I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
