Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
