the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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