But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
