i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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