i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize