Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
