SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
