butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
babies were throwing up all over the place
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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