Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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