it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So much Jack, so little girl.
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