we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
