I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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