What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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