If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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