I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
