Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
