similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
