You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
