This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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