I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
