He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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