On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
