Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
