ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
