i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
