and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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