i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my sisters under your porch take her home
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
