If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
