3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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