Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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