I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
