last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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