Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
