how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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