Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
