A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
