i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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