Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
soo... how was my night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
