I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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