Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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