After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
