Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
