Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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