Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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