I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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