4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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