do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
